A Storm of Ambition & Anxiety

You know what I’ve been lately? Terrified. Terrified of letting people down. Terrified of trying new things. Terrified of what others think. Terrified I’m not good enough. You know where being terrified is getting me? Nowhere!

I’ve never been one to be terrified about life or have bad anxiety. I’ve always just rolled with the waves. But lately, I’ve had an all out Category 7 storm brewing deep inside my soul. I don’t know what started it but, my it’s lighting my soul on fire and scaring the holy living hell out of me at the same time. I don’t know what’s coming, but I know what I have to do to get there.

CHANGE! and that’s where the terrified part comes in. I don’t like change. It scares me, but you know what I realized? I haven’t reached one goal or dream that I have had for the last 10 years because I got comfortable. Because I got scared. Because my current life was familiar & easy. Because basically I was being a whiny, full of excuses little baby!

So I did what I would do for anyone else that I saw struggling, I wrote this letter to myself as a pep-talk because no one knows my heart and head like I do. Not even Eric. I just started writing as fast as my brain and hand would go and didn't give myself time to stop and overthink what I was doing. When I went back and re-read it to myself, I was blown away! "Holy $h!t," I thought. "If I can have all of this bad ass attitude in my head, why can’t I put it to use?" I know it’s locked deep inside my soul right now, but it’s time to unleash the storm. So all of the anxiety better watch the f- out because the storm of ambition, determination & strength are coming in hot!!!!!

I'm beginning to realize that God doesn't put ambitions, ideas and plans in our heart unless He wants us to pursue them. And all of the fear and anxiety that comes with a new ambition is the devil's way of keeping us from being our best selves. Do you know what is sad? Most of the time our fears keep us from being great and doing great things for other people. I think it's time we kick evil in the ass and pursue all of the ambitions that Good Lord up above has so purposefully placed in our hearts.

If you have been feeling like you are meant to do more or have a great idea, but fear and anxiety is keeping you from pursuing greatness then I encourage you to write a letter to yourself like I did. Don't hold back and don't overthink it. Take five minutes and get out of your own head and picture yourself in your most bad-ass light and write away till you run out of paper. Keep it close to you always. Go back and reread it to yourself everyday. Read it when you are doubting yourself. Read it when you are scared or someone is doubting you. I promise even if writing or rereading your letter gives you just little bit of spark in your soul than you are on the right track. Fires don't start without a spark right? So add some gasoline to your spark and turn that heat up and let that storm rage!

Here is the letter I wrote to myself:

Dear Dayle,

Goals are only achieved when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone! The great things in life are easily achievable. God wants us to work hard, bleed, sweat and cry so that we appreciate what we have achieved in this life. So if you want something great then do something you've never done, Dayle. Get your ass uncomfortable and take chances! Read, learn, ask questions and explore all the knowledge possible in order to achieve what you think is impossible right now. Because guess what? The only time something is impossible is if you let fear, anxiety and sitting on your ass ruin your dream. Just remember, nothing is impossible with the right tools, a strong belief and a bad-ass tude to go with it!

Love,

Dayle